


thought we made a sweet team

by pinkmilkshorty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Autistic Ushijima Wakatoshi, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hospitalization, M/M, Thats all i really have to say, cystic fibrosis, depending on what youre here for, no happy ending, pls i really am sorry, woof - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkmilkshorty/pseuds/pinkmilkshorty
Summary: “So, what do you have?” Ushijima asked again, eyes drifting to the tv.“Hemorrhoids.” Oikawa said without missing a beat, eyes also focused on the tv. There was a long pause before Ushijima finally spoke.“Oh.”“I’m kidding.”
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Unrequited - Relationship
Comments: 13
Kudos: 50





	thought we made a sweet team

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moldytoast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moldytoast/gifts).



Toru Oikawa was in love. Hopelessly, desperately, and deeply in love. And he would never be loved back. He knew that and had come to terms with it, after all, if there had been a chance, he wouldn’t have developed Hanahaki. He had ended up in the hospital after about a month when the symptoms had reached the point where it was necessary. He would break down into a coughing fit almost on the hour, and had fainted more than once. He’d been there for about two weeks, a rotating group of doctors coming in to check up on him. He had started to learn the doctor rotation, the nurse rotation was a little harder to get, and a lot of the cafeteria workers had started to recognize him. He knew he would be there for quite awhile, he had no plans to get the surgery and he knew it wouldn't just go away, however the hospital itself was getting kinda boring. He missed being able to hang out with his friends and he wouldn’t admit it, but he missed school. He had to be brought to a hospital in Sendai, which meant he didn't get to see his family much, they really only visited on weekends, knowing they couldn’t do much, and he wouldn't listen to their requests for him to get the surgery. So they left him to his own devices mostly. Most days he would flip through whatever was on the tv, or reading whatever book he had been left with. He had been doing the former for about twenty minutes, when he felt like he was being watched. Setting down the remote, he looked over to the door where, a guy, was standing. 

He looked like he was about Oikawa's age maybe a year older, with slightly messy brown hair. There was a completely blank expression on his face, he looked perfectly healthy, the only indication he himself would actually need to be in the hospital was the nasal cannula connected to the backpack he was wearing, which he assumed contained an oxygen tank. He was just sort of staring at Oikawa, hands in his hoodie pockets. 

“Can I help you?” He asked, pulling himself into more of a sitting position before crossing his arms. 

“Why are you here?” The other asked, cocking his head slightly.

“Oh well nice to meet you too, my name’s Oikawa not that you asked.” He seemed confused, like he didn’t just ask why he was in the hospital with no other precursor or formalities. 

“My apologies. My name is Wakatoshi Ushijima.” He said, fidgeting with his cannula before continuing, “I only wanted to know so I’d know if it was contagious, I didn't mean to be intrusive or rude.” He was stiff, but he seemed sincere so Oikawa decided to let it go.

“Well Ushiwaka, it’s not contagious. Why?” He started at the nickname, before gesturing towards the chair next to Oikawa's bed, who nodded signalling that the other could sit, and he did. 

“I have CF so if I were to get sick, even a cold, it could kill me.” He said, setting his backpack down to the side, and pulling his knees up to his chest. The air seemed to go stale at that, and he pulled a small purple cube out of his pocket to play with. 

“Oh.” 

“So, what do you have?” Ushijima asked again, eyes drifting to the tv.

“Hemorrhoids.” Oikawa said without missing a beat, eyes also focused on the tv. There was a long pause before Ushijima finally spoke.

“Oh.”

“I’m kidding.”

“Oh.” They sat in silence after that, watching some stupid gameshow where they had to guess if household objects are chocolate or not, Oikawa thought it was stupid, but he didn’t feel like changing it. Eventually a nurse came in, looking ragged, like she had been running around for a bit.

“Ushijima for the love of god, we told you there’d be a nurse to check up on you and give you your meds in a few minutes. Come on.” She put her hands on her hips, and Ushijima nodded, grabbing his backpack and walked to the door slinging it over his shoulders. 

“See ya Ushiwaka.” Oikawa said, without taking his eyes off the tv. 

“Goodbye Oikawa. Good luck with the hemorrhoids.” Oikawa smiled at that, and was going to respond with something equally sarcastic, but when he looked to the doorway, Ushijima was gone. Oh well.

* * *

“Hey what is Oikawa in here for?” Ushijima asked the nurse walking him back to his room. She slowed slightly, a look he couldn't quite decipher crossing her face.

“Well Ushijima, I can't really tell you. It would be a breach of his privacy. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” They walked the rest of the way in silence, and that's how he took his meds as well. She left him once she was sure he had taken them and was okay. He sat on his bed looking around his room. He had been allowed to decorate because of how long he would spend there at a time, but he didn’t really have much to decorate with. A few pictures of his friends and him, and some band poster Tendou had given him. He flopped back onto the bed, Oikawa looked perfectly healthy, but he couldn’t really judge on that. It probably wasn’t CF, or the nurse would’ve been far more upset finding them. He ran through a list that it could be, but eventually gave up trying to guess, Ushijima swore though, that one day he would earn Oikawas trust. 

* * *

The next time Oikawa saw Ushijima was about three days later in the cafeteria. Though he wasn’t exactly fond of hospital food, he’d make do with what he had in the situation he was in. It could be worse and in all honesty, it was almost good enough to make him forget the Peonies growing in his lungs. He had sat at a table near a window, sad lunch slightly discarded having remembered the reason he was here, he realized he wasn't that hungry anymore. Just as he was about to get up however, a tray was set down in front of his, someone joining in the chair opposite him. 

“Hello Oikawa.”

“Well hello Ushiwaka. Fancy seeing you here.” Oikawa crossed his arms in front of him on the table, leaning forward slightly, observing what Ushijima had gotten for lunch. Almost the exact same thing as him. “You have good taste.” He said, nodding to the tray, Ushijima looked down, a look on his face like he had never really thought about it.

“Oh, I just get the same thing everyday.” He shrugged, starting to eat slightly meticulously, like there was an exact and specific order in which he needed to eat it. Oikawa decided to leave it, finishing up his food, until all either of them had left was a jello cup. Ushijima took a pause before opening it, while Oikawa dug right in, he noticed the others' hesitation though.

“Don't you like jello?” Ushijima shook his head softly, his hair fluffing up slightly at the air, Oikawa couldn’t help but think that it looked soft. “Why do you get it then.”

“It comes with the meal, and I don't want to make trouble for the workers, but the texture of it is repulsive.” Oikawa shook his head slightly, baffled by the man in front of him. He reached over and grabbed the Jello from Ushijimas plate, opening it and taking a spoonful. 

“There. Problem solved.” Oikawa smiled at Ushijima, who sat there, a baffled expression on his face, as if this wasn't an obvious solution. 

“Thank you.” Ushijima had a small smile on his face, and he was fidgeting with the small purple box from when they first met. “Oikawa, if you don't mind me asking, what do you have?” Ushijima had asked him this almost everyday, and everyday Oikawa gave him a different more absurd disease. It's not that he was against Ushijima knowing, he just, didn't feel like explaining that the only reason he's sick is because he loves someone who can't love him back.

“Benjamin Button Disease.” Oikawa said, taking a bite of his jello, Ushijima had learned to never believe him when asked directly, especially when he responded with things like this, so he just nodded in silence, and they sat there while Oikawa ate. Eventually though, Oikawa was done and they had no reason to sit there anymore despite how much they enjoyed each other's company, and it was with that thought, Oikawa realized he did actually enjoy Ushijimas company. They had got up, Ushijima letting out a rough sounding cough as they walked to bring their trays up.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Well no I have Cystic Fibrosis. I thought you knew that.” If it were anyone else, Oikawa would’ve yelled at them and walked away, but for some reason Ushijima sounded genuine and it made Oikawa pause.

“I know, that cough just sounded bad.” Ushijima shrugged, before coughing again, a little more violently. “Hey hey, let's sit down.” Oikawa said, guiding him to a chair, all the while he was coughing into his elbow aggressively.

“Get, a nurse.” Ushijima managed to choke out, breath coming in wheezes. Oikawa nodded and found the nearest nurse, he was on his way out of the cafeteria thankfully, and brought him over, explaining that Ushijima had CF and suddenly started coughing really bad and wheezing. The nurse came over, sent something on his pager and then he and Oikawa guided him back to his room, a doctor rushing in and shutting Oikawa out. The last thing he saw before the door was shut, was Ushijima thanking him. 

* * *

Ushijima had been okay, they wouldn't give him details, but they had fixed whatever had happened. Oikawa was just glad he was okay, they had shared lunch together for two weeks straight after that, Ushijima always giving Oikawa his jello cup. About three weeks after the incident, he was sitting in a lounge type area, trying to get some fresher air and more sunlight, reading the last book he had been left. It was a western period romance novel that Mattsun had recommended, Pride and Prejudice. It was quite good so far, he really enjoyed the story and most of the characters. He was nose deep when Ushijima showed up, he sat down on the chair next to Oikawa fidgeting with a little purple cube. 

“Pride and Prejudice?”

“Pride and Prejudice.” Oikawa confirmed, not looking up for more than a few seconds. 

“I love you, most ardently.” Ushijima said, causing Oikawa to pause, the words causing his stomach to turn in a way he wasn't sure if he liked or not. He thought about those words and his mind was drawn to short choppy black hair, a bright smile over some dumb joke, they way his eyes would scrunch just so when he was truly laughing, and his laugh, oh god his laugh. He thinks that if Iwaizumi’s laugh was the last thing he heard, he’d be okay with dying. Oikawa is drawn back to the present situation, where he isn't sitting with Iwaizumi at school, laughing and sitting together, but rather, in a hospital, flowers suffocating him. 

“Oikawa are you okay? I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, that wasn’t my intention.”

“No Ushiwaka, it's okay, I was just thinking about something.” Oikawa forced a smile on his face, that seemed to tide Ushijima over, if just for now.

“Uhm I offered earlier but I don't think you were paying attention when I asked so, did you want to watch the movie with me. I own it on disc.” Ushijima avoided eye contact the whole time he spoke, opting instead to inspect the little cube rather fervently.

Oikawa couldn't help but wish he could have fallen in love with Ushijima, if not for the sole fact to spare him from his inevitable demise, but also because the past month or so he’s spent hanging out with him, has been one of the most relaxing.

“Yeah, that sounds really lovely Ushiwaka. How’s tomorrow sound?” Oikawa asked, folding the top corner of the page he was on before letting the book rest in his lap, hands crossed on top of it. Ushijima seemed to light up, and for the first time, Oikawa noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He really wasn't sure how he didnt notice before, but there they were, plain as day, making him look so much older, and more tired than he was. 

Yeah, Oikawa really wishes he could’ve fallen for Ushijima first. 

* * *

Ushijima picks Oikawa up from his room at five pm, saying something about how it was the latest his nurses would allow, and Oikawa didn’t argue. He sat on Ushijimas bed as the other set up the movie, looking around and taking in the pictures he had on his wall. Ushijima with a group of people he had never seen before, probably not people in the hospital, and a band poster that didn't look anything like the type of music Ushijima would listen to. Oikawa leaned back against the pillows when Ushijima patted the space next to him having finished the set up. He wasn't sure how he felt being so close to Ushijima, but didn’t put too much thought into it past that. 

“Ready?” Ushijima asked, voice low.

“Ready.” Oikawa responded similarly.

The movie started and both of them fell silent, watching intently, and Oikawa had to admit, he felt nice. Sitting there next to Ushijima, watching a movie, just, being in a room together. It made him feel so at ease. He started to feel slightly guilty, the only person he’d been this at ease with before was Iwaizume and even though he knew Iwaizume did not feel anything for him, it still felt wrong. He pushed that feeling down, focusing on the movie, until eventually, it was the big kiss scene. He felt eyes on him and looked over to where Ushijima was watching him with a soft look on his face. 

Oikawa isn’t sure who initiated it, and he's also pretty sure it doesn’t matter. All that matters is one minute, they were watching pride and prejudice, and the next, they were kissing. Ushijima had brought a hand up to cradle Oikawa's face and it felt so nice. He felt himself start to kiss back before he brought a hand up to Ushijima’s shoulder, feeling him beneath Oikawa's hands made it all too real, he was kissing someone. He was kissing someone who wasn't Iwaizumi. Oikawa was kissing Ushijima. The only thing bringing him fully back being the feeling of flower petals creeping up his throat. He brought his other arm up and pushed Ushijima away standing up quickly.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry I just, I can't do this to you.” Oikawa said, hand on his chest, and breathing heavy.

“Why?” With that one question, all his walls broke, and tears started falling before he could stop them. 

“Because I can’t love you. I’m here because I have hanahaki okay? That's the truth, I'm in love with someone who will never love me back and that someone isn't you, so I can't do this to you, because you deserve someone who can love you. For all of you.” Oikawa finished, breathing heavy, and before he could stop himself, he started coughing, a whole flower making its way out of his throat, before he left, shaking his head and apologizing again, leaving Ushijima on his bed, trying to process everything. 

* * *

They didn't talk for a few days after that. Oikawa had been put on a temporary ventilator and Ushijima avoided him due to guilt, after all, he was the cause of the outburst that led to this. However about four days later, his nurse came in for his daily checkup, a lot more happy than usual.

“What's the good news?” Ushijima asked as she took his vitals, knowing she was only this excited when something truly good happened. 

“Well, your little friend Oikawa there made a full recovery overnight! How exciting am I ri-” Ushijima isn't quite sure what she says after that, seeing as he grabbed his oxygen as quickly as possible and took off in the direction of Oikawa's room. A full recovery? That could mean so many things. When he finally made it he swung the door open with reckless abandon, calling out for his friend, and regretted it instantly. Oikawa sure was in his room, but so was another boy. 

They were kissing. 

It felt like someone had covered Ushijimas shoes in cement. 

“Hey Ushiwaka, I was just about to go to your room.” Oikawa said, a smile evident on his face, “I'm sure you heard, but I got discharged today, so I'm heading home!” A loud silence hung over the three of them after that, threatening to suffocate Ushijima more than he already was being. 

“Oh um this is Iwaizumi by the way! Iwaizumi, this is my new friend Ushiwaka.” The boy, Iwaizumi awkwardly waved before another silence settled. Soon though, Ushijimas brain caught up and he could form coherent responses again. 

“N-nice to meet you.” Iwaizumi just nodded before eventually Oikawa made up some excuse about getting home late and he was sending Iwaizumi down to the parking lot to wait for him. 

“I'm sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, he visited me last night, and confessed that he actually did like me.” Oikawa looked sheepish, avoiding eye contact, and Ushijima couldn’t be upset. Oikawa would be okay, and that’s all he really cared about. 

“Im happy for you, really.” Ushijima said, forcing a smile on his face, it must’ve been convincing enough for him though because he smiled brightly, a blush dusting his cheeks. 

“Thank you Ushiwaka. I'll come visit sometime, I promise!” He said, walking forward to give Ushijima a hug, before he turned and walked down the hall, heading towards the elevator. 

As Ushijima watched him walk away, heart heavy, he felt something in his chest, a pain that was entirely unfamiliar to him, but he supposed it was probably a feeling Oikawa had gotten used to. 

He wasn't really sure if he'd be able to do the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u to my beta reader [yellow_beanie_boi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_beanie_boi) u a real one for sittin thru reading this fdskfhdsjk


End file.
